Day 1

just got off the phone with him

a lot harder than i ever imagined

he wasn't being himself, he kept saying he didn't want things to be like this, but it was a different tone, it wasnt the way you would expect your boyfriend to act

there was a lot of silence, and he kept saying this was my choice, this was all on me
towards the end i told him that i loved him, and that i wished him the best, & that i truly meant that
and he said don't say that to me, i don't want to hear that
...but why i asked him why can't  i say how i feel?
he said it was pissing him off
so i said okay then bye
and he said bye
and i hung up

i hate it.
but i know i have to do stick to it
he's obviously not changing, and has too much pride inside to say what he truly feels.
its never going to work we've gotten too bad to ever get good again
and its sad, but I'm glad i got to experience this for future relationships
so i know what i don't want in them and make sure i never settle for less than my best ever again.

all i know now is that i need to focus on myself and start putting myself first once again.

mending this broken heart is gonna need time, dedication, and some self loving...<3